tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post6450681719218818833..comments2024-03-26T04:19:38.862-07:00Comments on kitchen table math, the sequel: daughter of Chinese momCatherine Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03347093496361370174noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-78539474370935752262011-01-21T16:09:13.323-08:002011-01-21T16:09:13.323-08:00There is also a whole universe of kids who are bor...There is also a whole universe of kids who are born with interests other than academics, who can push themselves but not be pushed by others, and who will end up with achievements that their parents never imagined as worthwhile, much less acceptable. Let's be sure to keep these kids in mind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-22664995495014422522011-01-21T08:40:40.466-08:002011-01-21T08:40:40.466-08:00"I wonder how many times Amy told her to rewr...<i>"I wonder how many times Amy told her to rewrite this letter.<br /><br />I'm all for pushing kids...but not like this."</i><br /><br />Yeah.<br /><br />My rule of thumb when it come to penmanship (my child's greatest academic weakness) is to insist on high (well, hopefully) quality when we are doing penmanship "for school" and require rewrites as needed. But when the child chooses to write ON HIS OWN, I will only comment if I think the penmanship is extra bad.<br /><br />My thinking is that it is easy to turn him off to writing on his own. And making this writing extra work is probably a good way to do this.<br /><br />Comments?<br /><br />-Mark RouloAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-17182425024650383012011-01-21T08:14:44.357-08:002011-01-21T08:14:44.357-08:00"Everybody’s talking about the birthday cards..."Everybody’s talking about the birthday cards we once made for you, which you rejected because they weren’t good enough."<br /><br />I wonder how many times Amy told her to rewrite this letter.<br />I'm all for pushing kids...but not like this.<br /><br />ari-freeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-73707265023079007962011-01-20T07:50:52.297-08:002011-01-20T07:50:52.297-08:00Love matters.
"Well, that’s funny, because ...Love matters.<br /><br /><br />"Well, that’s funny, because I think those people are . . . oh well, it doesn’t matter."<br /><br />Exactly. I'm convinced that many people are unable or don't want to see details. Perhaps they can't see how this approach might work in some cases and not in others. I don't think the marketing of the book helps, however. It tries to push buttons.<br /><br /><br />"...but who represents the adults they will become?"<br /><br />That's a good way of putting it.<br /><br /><br />My wife and I have struggled with how much to push since our son was born. I think it makes a big difference to start early. My son might get annoyed about our pushing when he looks at his friends, but that is superficial. Deep down, he likes who he has become. We could be looking back now and realizing how badly we screwed up, but there is a risk in not pushing. We also paid attention along the way to adjust our pushing. It's easier to push and then back off rather than the other way around. <br /><br />My nephew had some learning difficulties when he was young, but my sister pushed him and worked with him to overcome them. He now has a degree in computer science and is quite proud that he knows how to work much harder than many of his co-workers. If my sister didn't do that, where would he be today?<br /><br /><br />"If I died tomorrow, I would die feeling I’ve lived my whole life at 110 percent."<br /><br />Pushing can be empowering or it can be enervating. This isn't as simple as the difference between self-pushing and parent-pushing. I think the evidence clearly shows that there is no guarantee of reaching your potential naturally.<br /><br /><br />One of the complicating issues is supply and demand. Many will push well past your limits for a limited opportunity. In sports, this goes with the territory, but in academics, it seems wrong. Should Harvard base entrance on some absolute standard, not supply and demand? How many alumni would not be accepted today? Leaving alone the question of whether Harvard is a good goal or not, I see this as an issue. People feel like they are pushed to compete with others and not themselves. That's the real world.SteveHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03956560674752399562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-8327673542987189082011-01-19T17:05:41.392-08:002011-01-19T17:05:41.392-08:00There is a value conflict between the little peopl...There is a value conflict between the little people my kids are today and the adults they will one day become. The little people fight for what they value today, but who represents the adults they will become?<br /><br />That has to be me. I'm like an agent representing the interests of faraway clients with whom I can't communicate. I have to do my best to figure out what they would want me to do and act on their behalf while still protecting the interests of the kids in front of me. I can't let either side take too much advantage of the other.<br /><br />Many years from now I'll meet those adult "clients" face to face and have to justify my actions. There will be some second guessing. They'll have the benefit of hindsight and won't fully understand how things were. But, overall, will they be pleased at how I took care of their interests?<br /><br />That's a question I try to keep in mind when deciding how hard to push.Glennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-72648945686545750172011-01-19T16:15:37.633-08:002011-01-19T16:15:37.633-08:00I'm half way through the book and loving every...I'm half way through the book and loving every minute of it -- particularly the part where she attempts to impose Chinese parenting on the dog.<br /><br />Kids are smarter and more resilient than we sometimes believe. They know when they've "phoned it in" and are not particularly troubled about being called out on it. You don't need to maintain a fiction that every work of art is a masterpiece, when it is clear that they don't believe it themselves. <br /><br />My ten year old is reading the book too. She loves it.LynnGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11467061079495021347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7691251033406320222.post-7405986438645233262011-01-19T13:56:44.482-08:002011-01-19T13:56:44.482-08:00high joy / high discipline
works every timehigh joy / high discipline<br /><br />works every timeCatherine Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03347093496361370174noreply@blogger.com