1. Denial - I'm just not up to date on the latest education research. They're professionals - they must know what they're doing.
2. Anger - My kid just finished sixth grade and can't add without using his fingers - WTF?!!!
3. Bargaining - Please, I'll stop bugging you if you would just teach my kid some arithmetic. [ed.: yes! yes! yes! God, how long did I live in Stage 3??? (read to end for relevant punchline)]
4. Depression - He's already four years behind. He'll never catch up.
5. Acceptance - Honey, I think we can safely empty out that college fund. Let's go to Hawaii.
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