I attended Parent Orientation today at the small, midwestern liberal arts college that my daughter will be attending this fall. The professor leading one of the break-out sessions said, at one point, "I hate the term 'helicopter parents' because it's so derogatory towards parents. The reality is that it's your child and you want them to succeed."
In general, the theme of the day seemed to be that they recognized that college involved a transition process, and that these 18 year old freshmen are "emerging adults. Also, that parents and the university have a joint relationship and it is essential to keep an open line of communication because while they may be students, they are also still somebody's child.
I hate the term 'helicopter parents' because it's so derogatory towards parents. The reality is that it's your child and you want them to succeed.
ReplyDeleteFANTASTIC!
Pardon my illiteracy, "helicopter parent" means a parent involved in a child's education or the parent controlling the child's education?
ReplyDeleteWell, obviously, when a 18year old goes to college without an idea why and what profession she should get (and I know many students are unable to make decisions, switchimng majors like t-shirts), a parent MUST be of a "helicopter" type.
I really hope I won't have to.
From another point of view - an 18 year olds ARE adults. We just don't let them to be adults.
(I got married when I was 18!)
Parents are paying customers, not helicopters. The college should teach and the parents should parent. For the astronomical amounts that colleges charge, they should not expect parents to pay the bill and go away.
ReplyDeleteLittle (big) Johnnie or Suzie might drop out after $40,000+ is spent with absolutely nothing to show for it. The presumption that the onus falls completely on the student is a cop-out. Johnnie or Suzie might deserve to flunk out, or it could be that the school takes their money and tosses them into the deep end of the pool.
Many parents would be more than happy to let their kids figure it out on their own after they hit 18, but not when it's costing them $40,000+ a year. And colleges should worry more about their flunk-out rate after a highly competitive application process.
Most colleges aren't lowering their standards to recruit students. They get to pick the best for their school. Then they demand extraordinary amounts of money to teach the kids in a sink or swim environment. Then they want the parents to pay the bills and go away.
It won't happen. The problem isn't about growing up, it's about getting something for your money.