From Jaak Panksepp, perhaps my favorite of the neuroscientists whose work I've read:
We find ourselves at the tall-tale end of an intellectual era when the animal mind was deemed nonexistent or impenetrable. Gentle Darwin was prescient when he coaxed us to see our own emotional nature as continuous with that of our fellow animals.
Science
Beyond a Joke: From Animal Laughter to Human Joy?
April 1, 2005 Vol. 308 no. 5718 pp. 62-63
Animal Passions--Fido Loves You (on Panksepp and his work)
Speaking of animals...
ReplyDeleteMy beloved dog, Sam, will be put to sleep tomorrow. He has lymphoma and because of his age (he is 12) we decided to forgo chemo. He looks at me with those sad eyes and I just know he is asking me to let him go so I called the vet today. It is time. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I do love him so.
PaulaV
Oh Paula, I'm so very sorry to hear about Sam. I am sure you are doing the kindest thing for him though. Wishing you peace...
ReplyDeleteI still tear up when I think about my old English Setter that needed a little help to go quietly in the end. I'm really glad we did it. She was so clearly ready. She would have slowly died of dehydration or starvation as she couldn't (wouldn't) drink or eat.
ReplyDeleteStill, it is such a difficult thing to actually do. Even when you know it is the right time.
oh gosh, Paula, I'm so sorry
ReplyDeletethat is a hard, hard time in your life with an animal
Paula,
ReplyDeleteI also am so sorry. We had to put our beloved cat to sleep years ago, and it was so hard. The cat had kidney failure, and the vet told us that when the time came, we would know it.
This year, one of the fourth graders in our Creative Writing Club wrote this heart-wrenching story about the time that her beloved dog was put to sleep. Later, her family got another dog, but as she put it, "it just wasn't the same."
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this little girl lives down the street from us, and every time we walk past her house and see the new dog in the yard, I think, "Oh, it's the replacement dog."
It was a hard decision to make because my husband is away on a business trip and is unable to say good-bye. I don't think either one of us was prepared for this moment.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words.
PaulaV
Paula,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I had to do that this year with our elderly cat. I couldn't believe how hard it was. It's just awful.
We're thinking of you. Be extra kind to yourself over the next few weeks.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteWhat has been the most heart-breaking is not wanting to let go. Sam stills eats like a horse (he is on predisone)and he appears normal except for his breathing. He pants all the time. I know he is in pain. I know this because he looks so sad. He doesn't want to go for a walk or even play with his toys, but yet...
Would it be easier to put him asleep if he looked and behaved worse? I never thought I would be the one to take him to the vet. My husband was going to do it.
Nonetheless, I owe it to Sam to be strong. He has been such a great companion. My husband got him for me because he didn't want me to be alone when he went out to sea on patrol (my husband was a navy submariner).
As the hours whittle away, I find myself questioning my decision. I feel a little panicky. Strange. I thought I would be stronger than this.
I need some comic relief (think of the Sally Fields scene in Steel Magnolias)which reminds me of a story. My nine year old is always telling his friends how I love the dog more than him. It is a running joke around the house. Sam does no wrong.
One day I was going on and on about how Sam loved me unconditionally and how he was always happy to see me.
Without missing a beat, my son said, "Sam is happy because you aren't torturing him about doing Kumon. I would be happy too."
Hee, hee.
PaulaV
Paula,
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I went through. I kept wondering if I was waiting too long or acting too soon. The day my husband took her for the final time, she actually hopped out of her box and glared at us like "What the hell do you people think you're doing?" That was her typical look, but it had been missing for weeks. Why didn't she just take a knife and stab me? That probably would have felt better. I cried like a baby when he left.
There's no good way to get there. I just kept telling myself that there was no other direction but down (pain-wise)for her. There was no coming back. Still, it is just so awful.
I'm so sorry your husband isn't there. I did have a friend that I could talk to who had earlier put down her 21-year old cat after she had let another one die. She said after letting the one die she would never do it again. The guilt that she felt was horrible.
She was much stronger about taking the other one in because she had seen what it looks like when you don't. Anyway, she listened to me blubber for a couple of weeks and it helped somewhat to talk to someone who had actually made the decision and followed through.
Sam sounds like a great dog who has a great family. He's a lucky guy. You won't make a mistake with this, Paula. I know it feels like you could, but you won't.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteThanks...sniffle, sniffle. Thank you so much for talking with me. I needed that. My neighbor is coming over in few minutes to take care of the kids. She is great and I'm sure we'll both have a good cry.
Well, it's almost that time. He is in the computer room with me. He's just hanging out like usual. It is surreal.
Anyway, thanks again, Susan. You always know the right thing to say.
PaulaV
If anyone would like to view Sam's memorial it is jpvalliere.critters.com. Thank you so much to KTM for letting me vent.
ReplyDeleteIt is done and I am okay...I think.
PaulaV
Paula,
ReplyDeleteThat is such a nice website. What a great idea.
He was one good lookin' pooch. He looks very happy.
Hey, sometimes we have to take a break from our helicopter duties.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a good idea. It made me feel better. He was happy pooch. Thanks for visiting the site.
Yes, we definitely need to take a break from the helicopter duties. The kids start school in two weeks so I will be back on patrol.
PaulaV