I don't know about the validity of this, but it's been emailed to me at least once a year since I started teaching 10 years ago. Its partner in crime is the "Teacher's Wish List for Report Card Comments:"
Since our last conference, this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this student to breed.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
He's been working with glue too much.
When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
His wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but these are both inevitably posted in the workroom of any school I've taught in.
Patrick Bassett played it at the California Association of Independent Schools meeting last month. The audience roared with laughter. Must be hitting a real mark.
I don't know about the validity of this, but it's been emailed to me at least once a year since I started teaching 10 years ago. Its partner in crime is the "Teacher's Wish List for Report Card Comments:"
ReplyDeleteSince our last conference, this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this student to breed.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
He's been working with glue too much.
When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
His wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but these are both inevitably posted in the workroom of any school I've taught in.
It's a parody, v 2.0.
ReplyDeleteReal school, real Aussie accent, but hoary with age.
Patrick Bassett played it at the California Association of Independent Schools meeting last month. The audience roared with laughter. Must be hitting a real mark.