This brings to mind all those occasions when I wished doctors or special ed teachers would downplay my concerns. Having one's concerns downplayed seems to be a core experience of so many parents of autistic kids, and yet it has never - not once! - happened to me.
No, when I show up with my autistic kids, it's Clear the exits, here they come!
Back when I first started my teach-our-son-math project, Ed was mildly dismissive. He didn't see the big deal; C. was a smart kid; he'd learn math the same way Ed had learned math; etc.
That was irritating.
Ed has become progressively less dismissive as time has gone by, which is also irritating! By last year I was hearing regularly that C. "has no conceptual understanding at all," or "has no idea how to do X," or "doesn't know anything about Y."
I would usually say something like, "He does have some conceptual understanding," or "he does have some idea how to do X," or "he knows something about Y" -- sounding for all the world like a person failing to reflect adequately on her practice.
So, as I say, enough's enough.
I can't keep slicing & dicing it. My son does not know arithmetic, and that's that. (Does not know arithmetic and yet is one point away from "Meets standards with distinction" on the state test. Which is pretty much all you need to know about the NY state math exam.)
speaking of which
I ran across my copy of the New York State Learning Standards for Mathematics 2005 the other day:
Every teacher of mathematics, whether at the elementary, middle, or high school level, has an individual goal to provide students with the knowledge and understanding of the mathematics necessary to function in a world very dependent upon the application of mathematics. Instructionally, this goal translates into three components:
- conceptual understanding
- procedural fluency
- problem solving
I happen to agree with this list.
Not one of them is true of the situation around here.
"So, as I say, enough's enough."
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I said this summer! Having rehashed and rehashed over and over again with my husband about what our kids could and couldn't do, I finally said enough. I couldn't deal with worrying about it.
So, I retreated and went to visit my family in Georgia. This trip truly gave me perspective. Life is so slow down there, but people are genuine and everyone seems happy. Kids are busy being kids swimming and fishing in the river and enjoying just being kids.
For a brief time, I forgot about test scores and conceptual understanding and it was so nice to just BE.
I am hoping my "life perspective" stays with me this year as I forge into fourth and first grade with my boys. I think they will do fine, but I pray that I enjoy the journey instead of trying so hard to reach the destination.
PaulaV
I pray that I enjoy the journey instead of trying so hard to reach the destination.
ReplyDeleteIs that an option?
Obviously this is an issue around here....complicated by the fact that it takes such a MASSIVE effort to haul your kid through middle school (I'm assuming we'll have a sudden lightening of the load come high school, due to frontal lobe development....)
ReplyDeleteI dread the start of school.
"Dread" is the word.
Maybe I should decide to look forward to it instead.
(I don't say that facetiously....)
ReplyDeleteYes, I think it is an option. I think I've driven everyone, including myself, crazy.
ReplyDeleteCertainly, the destination is important, but I made the journey quite difficult this past year. For my sake and my kids, I need to lighten up a bit.
PaulaV