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Oh my... Me, being the person that I am, find this essay an argument for and against a LOT of things. Not the least of which is to continue to homeschool my daughter! LOLI'm laughing!
Seriously? This was considered "advanced?" It's horrible! I expect better from my 8th grade daughter with Asperger's.
Here are the two charts from the NAEP report:
I was talking to Katharine about this a little while ago. She said the prompt is so uninspiring she didn't know how much she could have done with it, either.
Good point.
Even so, the "Advanced" essay lacks both topic sentences (another way of saying 'lacks analysis') and evidence (evidence as opposed to detail)...
Without being able to support my own argument (sigh), I'm taking it on faith that an Advanced student in his or her final year of high school should be able to come up with topic sentences and evidence no matter how lousy the prompt. If he or she is making an argument, and this student is making an argument, then he or she should be able to produce supporting arguments and evidence.
I'm pretty sure.
Here's the prompt, by the way:
Text:
Write an essay for a college admissions committee about one kind of information or communications technology you use. Describe what it is and explain why the technology is important to you. Develop your essay with details so the admissions committee can understand the value of technology. You may use information from the presentation in the essay.Pretty dreary.
I would love to see that 'presentation.'
| Characteristic | Grade 8 | Grade 12 |
|---|---|---|
| White | 158 | 159 |
| Black | 132 | 130 |
| Hispanic | 136 | 134 |
| Asian | 165 | 158 |
| Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander | 141 | 144 |
| American Indian/Alaska Native | 145 | 145 |
| Two or more races | 155 | 158 |
| NOTE: Black includes African American, and Hispanic includes Latino. Race categories exclude Hispanic origin. SOURCE: U.S. Department of Education, Institute of Education Sciences, National Center for Education Statistics, National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), 2011 Writing Assessment. | ||
| Characteristic | Grade 8 | Grade 12 |
|---|---|---|
| Male | 140 | 143 |
| Female | 160 | 157 |
| SOURCE: U.S. Department of Education, Institute of Education Sciences, National Center for Education Statistics, National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), 2011 Writing Assessment. | ||
| Characteristic | Grade 8 | Grade 12 |
|---|---|---|
| City | 144 | 146 |
| Suburb | 155 | 154 |
| Town | 148 | 149 |
| Rural | 150 | 149 |
| SOURCE: U.S. Department of Education, Institute of Education Sciences, National Center for Education Statistics, National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), 2011 Writing Assessment. | ||
3 comments:
I'm glad I gave you a laugh Catherine! :)
When I was reading that essay, it sounded a lot like a blog entry. Now I know why. If the student is watching a little video presentation then typing in their essay in that box thingy - it looks like a blog, so I'm not surprised it sounds like a blog.
I don't know, I remember lots of stupid and insipid essay prompts when I was in school. While we weren't perfect, I think we generally did better than this, even with those prompts.
Thanks for the update and additional information on the NAEP tests.
I cracked up when I read your Comment. Love it.
It's a terrible prompt, no question. Still, the complete absence of topic sentences & 'real' argument (meaning an effort to persuade a skeptical reader) just should not be Advanced.
I personally would easily put this student in the Proficient category for his command of written sentence structure alone.
I just skimmed the essay again.
It's not just the lack of topic sentences that's problematic; it's the lack of an organization based on a principle other than time.
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