two-pack

 Ralph Gardner on shopping for Irene:

[M]y wife sent me out to provision Friday morning. I stocked up on all the staples—beer, vodka, milk (which will surely spoil if we lose power for days, as some predict) ice cream (ditto), a bushel of tomatoes (I may do some canning if I get bored bailing out the basement) and, most importantly, batteries. We checked our supplies and even though we're well stocked in the C, AA and AAA varieties, we appeared to be all out of the D size, the workhorse behind many flashlights.

I returned home triumphant, every item on the shopping list my spouse had assembled bought and ready to rally for our survival. All except the batteries. It wasn't as if they didn't have any D batteries at our local hardware store. It was just that they only came in the pricey two pack. I'd had my heart set on the Armageddon size—the kind you find at Lowe's or Home Depot and come eight, 16, 32, even 64 to a box.

I wanted enough batteries to see us through anything nature threw at us; I wanted the confidence of knowing we had light through the 2012 elections if need be; I wanted enough candle power to throw a party. And at a couple of bucks a pop, I didn't see any way that was going to happen, at least not without bankrupting us.

Needless to say, Debbie was not happy when I got home. She had her hands full trying to book our daughters on one of the last trains out of the city even as Amtrak was canceling them faster than one could hit the refresh button. The last thing she needed was to worry that we'd be roaming around in the dark (the local news warning about the danger of candles, which I was looking forward to lighting all over the house in homage to the 19th century).

She accused me of being cheap on a vast and unprecedented scale. Indeed, she insinuated that I was perfectly willing to squander the safety of our family just because I couldn't get a deal on batteries, wondering whether I'd ever heard the expression "opportunity cost."

The whole thing is hilarious.

Sunday wrap-up

funny

treemageddon, part two

Hell.

C. just looked out the window and saw that we have 4 trees leaning on their sides against the hill out back. I'm pretty sure all of them are toppled, though I can't see whether their root balls are exposed. Doesn't look good.

The ground is saturated from the rainiest August we've had in all the years they've been taking measurements, and a moderate wind was enough to push them over.

It's like the earthquake damage you see in countries without earthquake building codes. An earthquake that wouldn't faze Los Angeles levels Haiti. Right now, where trees and soil are concerned, we're Haiti.

Times reader photos

Fabulous reader photos of Irene

My favorites:
123 (of 236)
162 - “Bring it”
165 - lawn chairs in pool
177 - surfers
196 or 198 – **Hurricane Alert** Mayor Bloomberg states “everyone should have 7 new pairs of underwear"

Wall Street under water again

(title from Reformed Broker)

the Barstool on Irene

from NYC Barstool:

I haven’t even opened my second box of Pop Tarts yet and this s*** is already over. Unreal. I have 2 pounds of cold cuts and 6 unopened bottles of wine. Looks like it’s gonna be Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Boars Head and a nice Cabernet for my Sunday Funday.

Same here. Ed says in addition to the FIFTEEN CANS of tuna fish he snapped up at Stop n Shop yesterday (the last cans on the shelf!), we have a pound of ham.

Nobody around here eats ham any more, either.

Ed says, "At least I didn't buy Pop Tarts."

Now we're debating whether you can eat Pop Tarts raw. C. says Yes, you can.

still here

Electricity still on; sump pump working.

Trying to figure out what to do with the FIFTEEN CANS of tuna fish Ed bought yesterday, seeing as how nobody around here eats tuna fish any more.

News 5 spots teens with alcohol

good lord

there's a whole crew of them, carrying boogeyboards

walking down the center of the street hollering

in a hurricane, in the dark

"Parents, if you see your children going out of the house, don't let them go out."

Earlier today, news crews filmed a mom on the beach shrieking for help because her 12-year old daughter was CAUGHT IN RIPTIDES ON HER BOOGEYBOARD. A friend of the mom's swam out to the rescue.

Meanwhile Irvington has ordered everyone off the streets.

update: C. thinks these have got to be the Fox teens.

resistance is futile

funniest thing I've read on Irene

actually, the only funny thing I've read on Irene so far

resistance is futile

Cape May

Ed just talked to his mom, who says the beach in Cape May, NJ is gone. Completely swallowed up. People think the sand may have been swept out to sea, though there's no way to know until the water recedes. She's hearing that the whole city may end up underwater.

Ed's uncle lives in Atlantic City a couple of blocks from the beach. They've been evacuated.

100 miles inland

The Accuweather guy is saying they've got 60mph winds 100 miles inland in North Carolina.

Where is Raleigh, speaking of 100 miles inland?

We're 30 miles inland, max. A mile from the Hudson.

update update

It's stopped raining.

undisclosed

Governor Christie says the lieutenant governor has evacuated to an undisclosed location.

He's trying to sweet-talk some elderly residents out of their high-rise buildings in Atlantic City.

And reports that everybody got off the beaches.

Billy is staying, Dayton is going

News 7 is interviewing Dayton and Billy. Dayton is going. Billy is staying because "the captain has to go down with the ship."

Liz Cho says "Billy should listen to his friend Dayton."

[pause]

Back from the break: Dayton's leaning on a wood fence chatting on his cell.

We will see what Governor Chris Christie has to say about that. Governor Christie used some salty language yesterday! says Liz.

storm chase

source

I once emailed with a guy who chased tornadoes, but until this moment I had never heard of storm chase vehicles.

no D batteries in Stamford, either

News 7 is interviewing a lady in Connecticut who says there are no D batteries in the stores.

Also, there are no flashlights, rendering the no-D batteries issue moot.

I am not going to enjoy 5 days without electricity, if it comes to that.

Jersey shore

They just interviewed a NJ guy who's standing his ground.

I'm not leaving.

I came out to enjoy the day. It doesn't look that bad to me, and I came out to enjoy the day.

I have no food or water.

Rescue won't be necessary.

etc.

I wonder if he's got batteries?

Now the news anchor is expressing amazement that people are still walking on the beach.

They're interviewing a family holding their little kids and looking at the waves.

a tornado watch, too

more is more

remembering treemageddon

Our neighbors didn't have electricity for 5 days.

I'm trying to remember how high the winds were that go-round.

Irene

8pm-ish:

Back tonight from Niagara Falls to Hurricane Irene territory, so our vacation from the vacation^* will have to wait 'til next Tuesday or Wednesday . . . or possibly Thursday . . . or whenever running water, electricity, and civil order have been restored, haha.

Ed's just home from Costco: not a single loaf of bread on the shelves, or any D batteries, either.

Meanwhile C. and I are ogling hurricane coverage on CNN, where a hurricane analyst (hurricane analyst?) was just asked, How bad is it?

Answer: "It's not a doomsday scenario." His exact words. Not a doomsday scenario. What can that possibly mean? How large is the set of all things that are not a doomsday scenario? And, more to the point, what kind of supplies does a person need to cope with an event that is bad enough to shut down all subways, trains, and airports but not bad enough to be a doomsday scenario?

Thunderstorm, strong winds, and scattered electrical outages-type supplies?

Or Northridge earthquake-category supplies? 

Moving right along.... Now they're telling us Hurricane Irene is as big as Europe. As big as Europe and spinning on its axis with winds up to 100 miles per hour, but minus the looming sovereign defaults and the ECB.

So I'm guessing Costco is probably fresh out of gas generators, too.

The FEMA guy is talking. Disasters are expensive, etc.

More weather people... "This is a deadly and giant storm"..."It's going to be a 3-ring circus"... this last from a professor wearing a bow tie.

Now Ed's back from getting gas. Heard on the radio that in New Jersey, if you don't evacuate you're supposed to write your social security number and the name of your next of kin in indelible ink on a 3x5 card and put it inside your left shoe. That's assuming Costco in New Jersey still has 3x5 cards and Sharpie pens in stock, of course.

I need batteries.


^* for passers-by: vacation in our household means air and/or car travel with 3 boys, two of whom have autism. Hence: vacation from the vacation.