kitchen table math, the sequel: group home

Saturday, February 14, 2009

group home

We just left Jimmy at the group home he may be moving to.

When I left, he gave me his sweetest smile.

I wish I had a picture.


education & mortality (& being the parent of an autistic child)
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4 comments:

Tex said...

Bittersweet?

I hope he has a good visit.

February 14, 2009 at 2:51 PM
Tracy W said...

Oh, how hard for you. Virtual hugs.

February 17, 2009 at 1:21 AM
Anonymous said...

Thanks, you guys.

It was incredibly hard. Chris kept saying, "I miss Jimmy, I don't want Jimmy to go to a group home." I couldn't answer because I was trying not to cry in front of him.

I was down all day long; I kept seeing his trusting smile.

Then the next morning I woke up feeling better -- and I couldn't remember his smile; I couldn't make the image come back. I still can't.

That was even worse, in a way.

That evening, Andrew brought his AlphaSmart Neo to Ed with the word "Jimmy" typed on it. He still can't manage sentences - though he's getting there, I think - so we couldn't figure out if he wanted to bring Jimmy home or stay with Jimmy himself. We're pretty sure it was the latter; the group home had a cabinet full of videotapes.

So now I'm not sure.

When Jimmy was 7, and I was pregnant with the twins, people began telling us we needed to place him because his behavior was so out of control that the twins could be in danger. The Northridge earthquake took place during the first weeks of that pregnancy, and I could now see the out of doors through my office wall....so that was a harrowing time.

We didn't place Jimmy, because if we had his new brothers would have known him only as a family member living in a group home.

Now I'm thinking maybe it's still too early.

Jimmy seemed awfully glad to get back home on Sunday.

February 17, 2009 at 7:26 AM
Anonymous said...

It's confusing, too, because having a typical child leave for college is wrenching - so maybe we need to do this?

Is a group home equivalent to college?

Last summer my brother and his wife were getting ready to send their eldest to college. They were awfully stressed, though they were bearing up.

At one point I said to my brother, "Well, at least you've got two more kids at home," and he said, "Yeah, we can go through wave after wave of this."

"Wave" is the right word, that's for sure.

February 17, 2009 at 7:28 AM

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