kitchen table math, the sequel: Conjunction junction, après le déluge

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Conjunction junction, après le déluge

I was searching for a transcript of Conjunction Junction when I came across the following exegesis of conjunctions, also entitled "Conjunction Junction" & inside a Prezi presentation, no less:
…if a conjunction is the 'Hitch,' the matchmaker, then the clauses are the two strapping young lovers (the two parts being joined).
  • Independent clauses can stand alone as sentences. In our Hitch analogy, they are the sassy, strong independent sugar mamas and sugar daddies.
  • Subordinate clauses are the gold diggers. They cannot stand alone as sentences. They begin with subordinate conjunctions, and are NEEDY.
  • They are like parasites. They depend on independent clauses for survival.
I've just read this passage out loud to Ed who says, "Obviously you should never use subordinate clauses."

Yet more evidence that something happened in 1985. *

Something bad.

* Wikipedia tells us that the first run of Schoolhouse Rock began in 1973 and ended in 1985.


Catherine Johnson said...


I'm flipping through the rest of the presentation…it gets worse.

There's a fair bit about Donald Trumps so far, and here is another observation:

"Coordinating conjunctions join equals together…they join healthy clause partners together, not sugar daddies and gold diggers."

Subordination is a critical component of writing AND THINKING …. and of clarity of expression….the 'dependency' relationship has nothing to do with gold-diggery.

The dependency relationship is typically (or frequently) used to express CONCEPTUAL dependencies.

This idea depends upon that idea.

Catherine Johnson said...

Oh gosh.

Now I'm on a slide that says:

"Note: They SHOULD NOT begin sentences."

Presumably she means coordinators (coordinating conjunctions) should not begin sentences, which is completely false.

I don't think even the most conservative composition handbooks give such advice these days (though I'd have to check).

Catherine Johnson said...

Yup, she's talking about coordinators.

"Avoid beginning sentences with any of those words!"

Catherine Johnson said...

"Type 2: Subordinating conjunctions
* These conjunctions join a needy gold digger (subordinate clause) with a wealthy, independent sugar daddy (independent clause).


Because Donald Trump has money, he can make ghastly faces and still get a hot wife."

Catherine Johnson said...

I'm actually sitting here thinking my students are lucky to have me….

FedUpMom said...

Conjunctions! I was listening to a podcast of "Ask Me Another" the other day and the following question came up:

"Name a 2-letter conjunction in the first line of Hamlet's most famous soliloquy".

Neither of the two (adult, college-educated) contestants got it.

I figure it can only be because they don't know what a conjunction is.

allison said...

Well, I didn't think "to" was a conjunction, and I still would have guessed correctly. I vote that they didn't know who Hamlet was, and didn't know what a soliloquy was, and hadn't heard of "To Be or Not To Be, that is the question".

FedUpMom said...

In context, it was pretty clear the contestants knew the answer was somewhere in "To be or not to be." One of the contestants actually guessed "to".

Anonymous said...

So now to teach basic grammar you ought to explain exploitative sexual relationships to your students?

lgm said...

If using public dollars, you have to include all cultures. This is part of the inclusion process....just like in fifth grade when your child was taught the street culture for drug use and in high school when explicit instruction on how to transmit or prevent AIDS was give in health class.

Anonymous said...

We wouldn't want to exclude the Sucro-American Community.