kitchen table math, the sequel: more education quotes

Sunday, February 11, 2007

more education quotes

Enrichment is the speed bump of education. It slows down the fast learners just enough for everyone else to catch up.

Our school system ensures that half the kids learn half the material half the time.

The only true accountability in education is at roll call.

Lowering standards is more cost effective than raising performance.

Entry from the Educators Thesaurus:

Main Entry: research
Part of Speech: noun
Synonyms: opinion, conjecture, assumption, imagining, wishful thinking

Education schools scientific method:

1. Draw conclusion
2. Perform experiment
3. Analyze data
4. Eliminate contradicting data
5. Reanalyze data
6. Eliminate the rest of the data
7. Invent data
8. Publish conclusion

Note: Steps 2 - 7 are optional

If we really wanted No Child Left Behind, we would stop teaching everyone.

Diversity ensures that everyone is different in the same way.

10 comments:

rightwingprof said...

Fun! May I?

1. Draw conclusion
2. Perform experiment

With no control group, and a very small sample space.

3. Analyze data

Report sums, or if the analyst is unusually math literate, means. Better yet, only publish charts and no data -- it's much easier to snow people if they have no hard data to look at, and all those sneaky things you can do with charts are well, just fun!

4. Eliminate contradicting data

Or argue, using lost of prolix postmodernese, that the contradictory data are not contradictory, and in fact, support your hypothesis.

5. Reanalyze data

Actually, the term these days is "revisit" data (unless it's changed again).

6. Eliminate the rest of the data

Quietly, of course, with without mentioning that it ever existed.

7. Invent data

Actually, this is very hard to do if you're looking for a specific result. Not that I know from making up data for research, but creating data for course assignments (where you need the data to show certain patterns). It's a royal pain, as a matter of fact.

8. Publish conclusion

And don't forget those presentations at conferences!

Catherine Johnson said...

Rory

Seriously.

Quit what you're doing and put out your shingle.

Education columnist.

Catherine Johnson said...

Actually, I think you ought to look into writing an education column for a local paper.

You could have an impact.

You're going to have some kind of impact here & at your own site...but being in print locally would be a good thing.

Catherine Johnson said...

Enrichment is the speed bump of education. It slows down the fast learners just enough for everyone else to catch up.

That is a fabulous way of putting it.

Catherine Johnson said...

I just made a post to the Irvington Forum on gifted kids:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/irvingtonparentsforum/message/213

Catherine Johnson said...

Just this morning I made a post to the Irvington forum on gifted kids

numbersmom said...

Very good. And while we're at it:

Analyze data

Don't calculate any statistics. Just group data into 'exceeds expectation' and 'meets expectation' without any information on what this means. Then set 'meets expectation' at 50% or more correct. That way, students can fail the exam and still meet expectation.

Catherine Johnson said...

hi, numbersmom!

Just group data into 'exceeds expectation' and 'meets expectation' without any information on what this means. Then set 'meets expectation' at 50% or more correct.

stupid hat trick

Parentalcation said...

Damn it right wing prof...

"Or argue, using lost of prolix postmodernese, that the contradictory data are not contradictory, and in fact, support your hypothesis"

I should of added this. Good one.

Catherine Johnson said...

the term these days is "revisit" data

People talk about revisiting data??

Are these meta analyses?

can't remember how to spell that...