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In a conversation with an elderly relative, I mentioned that I had purchased Starbucks gift cards as end-of-year gifts for my daughter’s school bus drivers. She remarked that I should have given them Dunkin Donuts cards, because she didn’t think bus drivers go to Starbucks.
When she said that, my reaction was annoyance. Why was I annoyed? Was it because she was right? Or, was it because this remark betrayed a certain type of prejudice, elitism or plain old ignorance?
Should I have gone to Starbucks to buy my teacher gifts, and to Dunkin Donuts to buy my bus driver gifts?
Gift giving can be very complicated.
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15 comments:
Guess I'm showing my proletariat roots, but I've always preferred Dunkin Donuts coffee to Starbucks.
There's nothing like their dark roast - black. But, then again, Starbucks doesn't have donuts. But, then again, I shouldn't be tempted.
The problem is not elitism, it's thinking about elitism. Obviously, one of you two thinks about it and the other doesn't. We're talking about coffee shops, not elite day spas. I think bus drivers would be thrilled to get anything, since they are often ignored.
I have no idea.
However, I am subsumed by guilt over the realization that I did NOT purchase end-of-year gift for the bus drivers.
(Christmas gifts, yes)
Is it subsumed by or subsumed with?
I'm getting paranoid about grammar now that I know I don't know any grammar.
I like both places, but I don’t often go. Starbucks coffee is sometimes too strong for my tastes, but their lattes are perfect.
There seem to be a lot more Starbucks around than Dunkin Donuts.
And, they both have some wonderful 900-calorie drinks that are best enjoyed once or twice a year.
However, I am subsumed by guilt over the realization that I did NOT purchase end-of-year gift for the bus drivers.
I knew you needed your daily dose of motherly guilt! Mastering algebra so you can reteach your son is not enough. There’s always more, more, more to do!
Is it subsumed by or subsumed with?
“By” sounds better to my ear, but I have no idea which is correct.
I don't think you want "subsumed" at all, "to include or place within something larger or more comprehensive: encompass as a subordinate or component element".
"Consumed by guilt", "overwhelmed by guilt", "crushed under the weight of unassuageable guilt" if you're feeling particularly purple today, perhaps.
My guess is that, when using their own money that they have earned, both bus drivers and teachers will prefer Dunkin' Donuts over Starbucks, because your money goes a lot farther at DD. For gifts, however, either one is probably appreciated.
Am I the only person in this country that thinks we don't need to give so many gifts? Should I look forward to a future shunning if I do not give any gifts?
just wondering
Don't get me started about Starbucks.
Somewhat on-topic...
Of course, the econ student living in my brain keeps telling me that cash would be way more efficient...
Cash: the universal gift certificate.
And it never expires (though its value asymptotically approaches zero with increasing time).
I agree with Doug and George. If you don't know your daughters' school bus drivers well enough to know if they go to Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, why don't you give them cash?
I agree cash is always best if you don’t know what the recipient would prefer, but I have a persistent discomfort about giving cash. Especially when it’s a modest amount.
I’ll confess I suffer from gift-phobia. I’m always second-guessing the gifts I give, and I view most gifts I receive as clutter. My husband gave up trying to buy me gifts years ago. (I tell him I’m low maintenance.) It’s a personal hang-up about which I keep saying I should seek counseling. lol!
FYI Visa gift cards are now available. I got one for Christmas. Just like cash, but a card. Can use them at Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks, wherever.
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